::sigh:: Let's work through my day backwerds, it sounds more interesting that way I think...

I just closed at McJewelry's. Completely alone... the checks came out 61 cents short, but the cash was 61 cents over, so it's all good. I hope.

Punky called me randomly today. I had just come home from hanging out with Avigen ::resists urge to become random, and therefore loose the general point of this paragraph::, and she ended up coming over and we hung out. It was really nice, I miss her. Punky and Tylo used to be me best friends, Punky and I lived at Tylo's house every weekend and we went to high school together. They graduated a year before me, and we ended up staying friends after they went to college. But when I went to college we kinda drifted apart. I miss what we had, a lot. but like I've said before I've changed, and I'm not entirely sure they'd like the new me. ::shrug:: we'll see I guess, because I really want to make an honest effort to spend more time with them.

Punky and I talked about a lot of things today, but there is one thing that I'd like to write here, mainly because it confuses me a lot. it's Punky and tylo's view on pornography.

Both Punky and Tylo hate pornography. Now that by itself isn't all that odd. there really are some people who don't think that the human body should be exploited like that, or feel that it's all distasteful. That's fine. It's not my view, but everyone has their own oppinion. What gets me is that they both forbid their boyfriends from looking at it. It makes them feel like the guy is cheating on them, because he's thinking about another girl in a sexual way. I really don't see that. think about someone else, and doing something with another person are two completely different things. people have the right to have their own thoughts, I don't know, it just really confuses me...

okay, now I'll talk about What Avigen and I did today. We actually slept together for the first time. I know I said that I only wanted to if we were going out, because I wanted it to be special. No, we're not going out, but it was still really special. It's hard to say why, exactly. I think what made it different was that it was him asking me to do things, he's the one who took the extra steps. A lot of the advancements that were made in our relationship were initiated by me. That made me very parinoid that he was just going along with everything to spare my feelings. Today was all him, which quiets the vioce in my head, because he wouldn't have taken things as far as he did if he wasn't enjoying it. So I'm okay, no emotional breakdowns after hanging out with him. YaY!!