mmm I feel much better... I got the 20 dollars from my parents, begrudgelingly... but whatever... I'm going to spend tomorrow looking for another job...

I spent most of today curled up in a little ball of self hatred, them my mom came and gave me greif for needing that money, which just made the ball tighter... So after I went to pay off my car, I ran away into the woods...

I stayed there for awhile, and then it got really windyand sand kept on blowing into my eyes, so I left...

Aislinn was really good about trying to pull me out of my ball... and she definatly loosened it quite a bit...

Anyway after I left the woods I was feeling better, and then Avigen called and asked how I was doing and asked me to meet him at the mall, which I did, and we went out to diner, and then we went back to his house, where I got to curl up in his lap like I wanted to do yesterday... and when I was feeling better, well you see what my mood is now... It's too bad his parents were home...

On more than one level... His dad wanted his help at one point and I'm not entirely sure what happened while he was helping, but he came up pissed...

He asked me to leave at one point but I wouldn't go... I didn't really do anything, I just sat there watching him until he said that he felt better, then he came and laid back down with me for awhile, and then I went home later, because he had to work in the morning... I hope he really was feeling better... he said he was afraid that he was going to shout at me... ::shrug:: well we'll see tomorrow...