I'm sick of this shit... I feel like crap for days on end. Then I feel good for a day and a half, then I feel like shit again. Over the stupidist shit. Avigen is going job huntingtomorrow, so we may not get to hang out... MAY not... I keep telling myself that... it's really very likely that we will, he just wants me not to get my hopes up in case he can't... I know this... but I really want to spend time with him tomorrow, so the thought of not getting to is very frustrating. so I'm back in my foul mood.

Why does that boy hold so much sway over my happines? I could be having the best day of my life, and if he said something mean to me, it would ruin the rest of it... although it goes the other way too... A kind or loving gesture will make me happy for the rest of the day, regardless of what may have happened to me... I'm such a disgusting excuse for a human...