::sigh:: so things were good when we talked, but then I waited, and at 2:30 he calls and says that he doesn't think he'd be good company, and he can't bring himself to do any work, so he's gonna hafta cancel...

::crash::

that was the sound of my mood dropping, the only thing I really wanted today, was to spend time with Avigen... I didn't get to.

I hate my life...

to top it off, I called him from work to ask him something, and he got all snappy with me.

::cruch::

that was the sound of him stepping all over my shattered mood...I feel so empty now...

Boss lady thinks I shoudl ignore him until he calls me, and then say no to whatever he proposes. I think hat's juvenile, a little. Maybe waiting for him to call me wouldn't be such a bad thing... There's just this little pa of me that is terrified that he won't call, and he'll just go away and leave me behind, and I so don't want that.

All I wanted oday was to see him, It shouldn't be this hard to spend time with your boyfriend. bu who knows, maybe it is.

I'm so patheic....

why do I even bother?