It�s funny how things change. I�m at my parents house tonight (I came over for diner, and since my car insurance was canceled, I�m staying over so that I can clean tomorrow, and ask the little one for two rides, instead of 4), This isn�t my home anymore. I�m more grateful for the money they gave me now. Just from the way things have gone, I know I couldn�t move back here. Things are similar. The little one is at her boyfriend�s house, my parents have gone to bed, and I�m waiting up for her, just like I used to. We sat down for dinner, and my mom talked about her day at work, they had their glass of wine, my dad read, while my mom and I watched TV. That is any number of nights from my past, but somehow it was different. I no longer belong here. It�s not that I�m not welcome, I just don�t fit the way I used to. It�s kind of scary, and kind of exciting all at the same time. I guess I really am growing up. Weird, no?

I had my parents and grandparents over for dinner on Sunday. It was a father�s day thing. It went well I think. My grandmother was a bit smitten with Julius, she kept on going on about how I should be dating him. She said it to me a few times, and then while she and my mother were doing the dishes, Gramma was talking to her about it. My mom piped up about how handsome Avigen was, and for a while it was a bit weird listening to the two of them going on about the attractiveness of my roommate and boyfriend ex-boyfriend. I listened for a bit, and then stopped the conversation by telling them that I made sure that I kept very attractive people around me so that one day I can start a reality TV version of �Friends�.

I need a job, not just for the monetary portion of it, but I am going stir crazy at my house. I turned into a cleaning freak before everyone came over on Sunday, and I�m turning almost obsessive compulsive about keeping it that way, mostly out of sheer boredom. I don�t get enough on the unemployment to really spend it on much, not really anyway, and even if I did, with the whole no insurance-on-my-deathtrap-of-a-car situation, I�m not much in the mood to drive anywhere, yay, back to begging rides from people. There�s an old bike in the garage, I think I�m going to pull it out and see how it looks when I get home tomorrow. It�s exercise, and Goddess knows I need that, plus I�m within biking distance of the mall, Wal-Mart, and most of rte 44. Not that I�ve had luck with the search for jobs on that front.

Okay, here�s the last little bit. I feel weird not sleeping at my house tonight, like part of me really wants to be there instead of here, but I really dislike sleeping in an empty house. I�m all torn and stuff. Avigen is apparently getting ready to move in, but he hasn�t really talked to Julius or me about what date he wants to actually make the move. Part of me wonders if it would be out of line to ask him to stay while Julius is gone. Gods I can be such a baby. Julius is only gone until like Monday. I�m here tonight, so I�ll be alone tomorrow, but Kitty is having girly movie night at my house on Saturday, so I�ll be okay there, then it�s just Sunday night, and maybe Monday night, so really it�s only three nights, so I should suck it up and deal. Okay, I think I�m about done now. I�m sleeping in the bitchy one�s room tonight because dad�s turning my room into an office/workout space, and they gave my bed to a transvestite. Oh well, at least the sheets are clean.