So I�m sitting in the campus center at BSC, my life has been very odd lately. Let�s do this entry in list format so that I can be sure that I cover everything, shall we?

1) Jow (relationship wise)
2) Avigen (in comparison to the previous paragraph)
3) Avigen (and how we�re getting along)
4) My most recent Job interview
5) The shower with Jow last night

1) I am so happy right now. I�m still finding it hard to describe how happy Jow makes me. I really am at a fault for words as I�m sitting here. We just seam to get along so well. I don�t know what I did to deserve to be this happy, but I�m glad I did it. It�s funny, things between us happened so fast, but it all feels so right, but then we started talking about the upcoming holidays. I was saying that I wanted to steal him for Christmas, because it�s my birthday, so we started talking about that, and I said that he could steal me for thanksgiving, but then I think we both kind of realized that we�ll only have been dating for a little over a month come thanksgiving, and that�s really soon to do the whole swappy family thing, so I think we�ll just have to wait until next year. I said it then, and even when I sat it now, I know that we will still be together come next thanksgiving� We�ve been dating less than a month, and I know that I�m going to be with him for a long time to come. I know I love him. I know I�m in love with him. I think I�ve said it before, but I�ll go through it again, loving someone and being in love with someone are two completely different things. I love a lot of people, but I�m in love with Jow.

2) Having all this in my head, floating around leads me, on occasion, to think about Avigen. How we were. We shouldn�t have dated. I love Avigen, I always will, but I think I missed the window on being able to be in a relationship with him. I spent too long in crush mode, all of High School, into college. I think if I had asked him out while we were in High School things would have been different. I know I loved him more than he loved me, because I was at a different point with it than he was. Part of me was so used to the crushing emotions, that it didn�t really know what to do when it realized that I actually had him. Not the healthiest of attitudes. I know all this now. I�m not saying that I regret dating him. I was very happy when I was with him, and I�m not sure I would�ve ever realized any of this if we hadn�t dated. I�m just saying that I think we make better friends.

3) That opinion is reinforced by the fact that he and I can still sit down and have good conversations. We haven�t talked about the break up, I don�t know that we ever really will, which is probably better, if less healthy. He and I have had some good talks about our relationships and a few other things though, and being able to talk like that is a very good sign. The two of us really are okay I think�

4) So Torrid is opening a store in the mall near my house. I applied to work there, because a 40% discount in the store where most of my shopping will be done is a good thing. I had an interview last week and it went so well. They were talking like I had the job 2 min. into the interview. At least that�s what I thought, they never called me back though. I was really upset about that, but really, what can you do? I need to get my ass down to the mall and start filling out apps though.

5) Jow and I have been trying to get alone time all week and it really hasn�t been working out. Friday I stayed in his dorm, and usually that�s alone time, but his room mate randomly stayed here all weekend, instead of going home like he usually does. There was a vampire LARP this week end, and Red asked if we were going to stay at her house after, Jow didn�t want to initially, but after some taking I managed to convince him that we would get more alone time if we went there. I wanted to take a shower before we went though, so during game we snuck out for a bit to do so. We went into the men�s handicapped shower because it�s big, and we can both have fun while we�re in there. Well, I think Jow�s RA overheard me talking in there, because he was waiting when we came out. Busted. I feel really bad, because Jow�s gonna get written up, and I�m probably banned from the dorm, and if Jow gets written up even one more time for the rest of his college career then he�s gonna loose his housing. He keeps on saying it�s not my fault, because he was the one who wanted to do it in the first place, which is true, but it still sucks that I am indirectly the reason that he got written up. ::sigh::