Every now and then I space out. I'll stop whatever I'm doing and my mind will wander. I'll start wondering what the point of all this is, why we're here. Then I start thinking about what it would be like if we weren't, and then I realize that it doesn't matter because it's not like any of us would know. If a follow that rain of thought, sometimes I feel like I've come to a conclusion, but I can never remember what it is, The awnser is only there for a spit second, and after it's gone all I'm left with is a feeling of shock and terror. I don't know. I'm so out of it right now. I'm just rambling, I know it.

The death of Memie affected me more than I realized. I'm so out of it. I feel bad, I was a little snippy with Piggy tonight at work.

I really don't want to be at my house right now, why does this shit always happen when everyone's busy? Avigen and Aislinn have LARP, and Julius is at a party at FRAngel's. I could have gone there, but once again I'm feeling really anti social, and wouldn't have had fun. So once again I am destined to stay home and wallow in my own self pity.

I'm thinking about not going to origins... I don't know, I just don't think it'd be worth it. I don't know if I'd really have that much fun. I'm partially afraid that this anti social thing will linger and I'll spend all my time curled up in a ball in my room, and 400 dollars is an awful lot to spend to sit somewhere and not do anything...

Julius thinks I should go, and I know Aislinn will be pissed if I dont. and I will be wasting $250 because of my plane ticket. ::sigh::

I think I'm going to go loose myself in a diary, I've got two reviews to finish before I go to ohio (or run off into the woods and hide), and sitting here whining about mylack of sanity isn't going to get that done.