I went to LARP last night. I didn't play, but I do think that I'm going to start. Sombrengel (formally referred to as Despair) and Lord Allen run a 'Vampire: the Masqurade' LARP once a month. Many people who go to Bridgewater play in it. Avigen and Aislinn do, Sailor Moon used to. Cross does, so does DWD, and NAVA.

Every. Single. One. of those people have been trying to get me to play in the game since it started. Telling Imandra that she has to do something Is a good way to get her to avoid doing it, even if she wants to.

Anyway, when I went to origins, I heard Sombrengel talking about it, along with everyone else, It did sound really interesting. I've never LARPed before (oh, and for those of you who don't know LARP stands for Live Action Role Play. It's like normal roleplaying, except you act it out, and dress up like your character), so I asked if I could come to the next session and watch. Sombrengel agreed, so I went last night. I am going to join, I just need to get together with Sombrengel, Lord Allen, or Desktop (the other guy who runs it) at some point so I can get help from them, I don't have the first clue as to how to go about making a character.

I went to Wheel of Time tonight, I had fun but I was distracted. Avigen called me on his break and said that he wasn't sure if he would be at game tonight, because his father wanted to have a talk with him. Avigen gets so mad sometimes, espically when he and his father talk. He called later on and said that he wasn't coming. I asked what had happened and he said he didn't want to talk about it.

I could tell he was pissed. I"ve seen him that pissed before. I was at his house, and he and his father got in a fight, when he came back upstairs, he said he thought I should leave, but I wouldn't. I didn't want to leave him while he was that upset. I worry about him. I don't know how to help him, so I just sit there and watch him. I don't know if it helps, but he ended up talking a little. I just get so afraid that he'll hurt himself.

And of course because I'm still not completely right in the head, I start thinking about all the things that could happen. You know, if he died right now, I think that would be it for me for awhile. I really think that'd be the last straw. I can't even think that entire path through.

::sigh:: I am once again forced to wonder if he feels like this about me. I wonder if I've ever kept him up with worry all night. Probably not. I think that falls into the universal crying sholder job description: "Thou must Worry endlessly about thy friends, yet not be opaque enough to catch theirs in return"

I got some of the furniture from my grandparents house, Like for when I move into an apartment. I got two end tables, a coffee table, glasses, coffe mugs, and their recliners.

For as long as I remember, My grandparents have always had their chairs. Right now my parents have them in the living room. they picked them up yesterday while I was out, and when I came home at 3:30 in the morning they were there. I just sat in them and cried. I've been doing that too much lately. It's just that those were their chairs, they're very strongly connected to them in my eyes. I don't know, I think I need sleep now, or maybe I'll just go laydown and stare at the ceiling while thoughts of all the different ways that my friends could be taken away race through my head without a care for my sanity...