So I slept an Julius's house last night. It was air conditioned, and there was a pool. We went swimming at like 10:30, I haven't been swimming at night in forever. I like it a lot,..., I crashed on his couch not long after that. I forgot to call home and tell them that though. My mom called in the morning to ask what happened, and weather or not I was going to go to work today. ::sigh:: that woman has no faith in me.

So today was really slow. Julius and I were talking yesterday aboutwhat's stressing us. I'm a little worried about this whole job. I've wanted it for so long, and I really thought I'd love it from the min I started it. Now I'm out on the floor, and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm still trying to decide. Part of me is very afraid that I'll end up hating it. I'd hate to go back to retail and get paid less just because I can't suck it up.

On the complete other side of the coin: I'm also slightly worried that when I'm fully adjusted I'll only ever be okay at this job. I'm already skipping things that I should be doing, but at least I'm consious of it, so I hope I'll end up changing those things. Avigen points out that I don't have to be outstanding at the job. That's true, but sometimes I feel like I'm not great at *anything*, and I think it might be nice to be really good at something for once. Although today when I finished the woman who sits next to me told me that she was impressed with how confident I am. She says that she was a nervous wreck the first few days she was on her own. I am a nervouse wreck, but I guess it's not showing at least. I sopose that's good.

After work I went to sacred ways to talk to the lady who has rats for Joyia and me. She said that Joyia and I can got pick them out on saturday, which is good, because I was afraid that I'd end up with pregnant rats while I was holding joyia's until the weekend if I picked them out durring the week. Now all I have to do is get a hold of Joyia before then. When I got home I calld Avigen to see if he wanted to hang out, he was at the mall so he said he'd call me back. two hours later I woke up from my nap. I thought that Avigen had forgoten me, and that my parents had not bothered to wake me up for dinner, and then I realized that Julius hadn't called either, he usually does out of boredom when he's at work. So I felt absolutly unwanted. I was going to go out and buy meself some dinner and get re-lost in my cozy book where I may be invisable, but at least the scenery is more entertaining. Avigen called while I was getting dressed. He had stoped by the woods on the way home from the mall because the weather was so nice, and had fallen asleep. then he got home and lied down just to stretch and had fallen asleep again. He said he was sorry, and we're hanging out tomorrow anyway so I guess it's okay. I went down stairs feeling a bit better and found out that my parents hadn't eaten yet, so at least they didn't forget me. My mother was wicked snippy with me though. Then I came online and sombrengel had left me a message saying that she loved my away message, and while I was eating dinner Julius called so I guess it's all good. I still want to go out though, Avigen's right... It's beatiful out.