Julius went to yoga with Aislinn on tuesday. He asked me to come but I had absolutely no ambition to go. I'm lazey, it was hot, Avigen head the night off... So yeah I didn't go. After work I went home, called Avigen, left him a message, and took a nice sewaty nap. He called a few hours later, and we went out to dinner. Ater dinner we went back to his house and watched STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT. The we went up to his room and talked.

He could tell I was upset. He asked me what I was thinking about. I awnsered him honestly: I told him I didn't know, because 9 times out of 10 lately I don't know what's bothering me. The other night it was kind of a mix of thinking about my grandparents, Not wanting my father's mother to come to my house later today, the still present fear that I'm stumbling through this new job, and me still questioning Avigen's feelings for me. There are other things too, but I really don't know how to communicate them. He asked me if him hanging out with Valley Goth made me upset. I told him that I hadn't been thinking about it just then, but I told him that it did bug me.I told him that I know I don't have a reason to get upset. I told him how I've been telling myself that I shouldn't be jelous, but I still was. He hugged me and was like "I have jelous girlfriend, I am uber sexy and much wanted" :-P

I also told him that sometimesI feel like he doesn't really want to be going out with me. He reminded me how hard it was for him to trust people, how long it had taken him to trust me as a friend. He told me that he didn't regret going out with me. He is a bit worried though. With the exception of Joyia, he doesn't really speak to any of his other ex's. Before we started going out I was his best friend. He's afraid that if we don't last forever he'll loose a good friend. I asked him if he thought we were going to last forever. He said he was trying not to think about it either way. He'd thought that Black Widow would be forever, then I thought Harpy would. He doesn't speak with either of them anymore. He doesn't want that to happen with me. I told him that no matter what we may be to each other I would alway's be around. I don't know If we'll be a couple forever. I know I love him, I thin kwe'll be going out for a long time. but I don't want to promise him something that I'm not sure is true. I know that I will alway's be friends with him, or at the very least be there for him, weather he wants me as a friend or not. I don't now if that makes him feel any better though.