I went to see Avigen, He had changed that voicemail last night I guess, he seamed fine... I wish I weren't working tomorrow. I'd like o talk to him for awhile. I've been very selfish these past few months, I need to snap out of this and start looking around at how other people are feeling again. Hell, that's my job isn't it?

I'm so disgusted with society. They were just doing a bit on the News (something I usually avoid with avengance) about Stores not sticking to the mature rating on vides games, and selling them to underage children. I don't thin that's the real issue with this country. I think the problem with this country is that parents aren't involving themselves in their children's lives. I don't mean yelling at them, and setting unfair rules, I mean that they should take interest, and notice what their children are doing, and try to undstand them, and explain things that may be confusing to them, If parents did that, we may not need to push the blame of tragic events onto other causes, because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't happen.

That is one of my huge pet peeves. Nothing is ever anyone's fault in this country. It's always some other person/place/thing that is the reason that something fell apart. I think that if everyone took more responsibilities for their actions then things would be a lot better off in this world.

::stops, looks around, steps off of her soap box::

Right, sorry. I'm good now.

***

I miss Grammy and Popa. It's still really hard to know that they won't be at christmas. I'm looking at my hand while I'm typing this, and I have Grammy's ring on, she gave it to me for my birthday last year. Only a year ago they were sitting in my house, they were both upset about her being sick, she kept on breaking down crying at everything, she knew this was probably going to be the last christmas. She kept on crying randomly, and my family, well, my family is wierd, we're not overly touchy feely, so when she'd break down crying they'd kind of turn away like they didn't know what to do. I couldn't stand to see her like that, so I'd go and hug her. Last year at christmas everyone was signing a blanket so she could take all of us to kemo with her. Last year at christmas I saw my grandfather cry for the first time. Last year was not the best christmas.

The Christmas before, was absolutly normal. Two years ago My grandparents gave me $25 and a pair of ugly PJ's for christmas.

I wish I were turning 18 again.