I just saw the matrix reloaded, and I actually liked it. Then again There are few movies that I don't like.

I could talk about the origins trip, but It still seams to be disentegrating before my very eyes, so I think I'll avoid that topic, and move onto the other area's my life is falling apart at...

Work: If I don't improve my number goals at work by July, I'll get fired. I think I'vepinpointed the problem, but I don't know how to fix it other than doing what always happens when I'm in a situation like this, and I'm not sure that will help this time.

I think I'm stressing a lot more because of the whole situation with my parents. I'm still not talking to them, I've said less than 20 words to them in the 17 days since they gave away my car. It sucks. I don't trust them, and I'm not happy here, and I feel like I'm lost, and have no place that I belong. I don't want to live here anymore. There's the whole house with Julius thing in August, but This whole stressing out about my house is affecting every area of my life, and if I don't figure out how to stop making it do that I'll loose my job in July, and that makes things a lot more difficult, and means that I probably have to go back to working a shit mall job, and that means that it's highly unlikely that I'll be able to move into the house with Julius.

I could try shoving it in a box and forgetting it, that's what I do with almost everything else that stresses me. But something in my head is telling me that This might turn into the shove that colapes it all. What to do, What to do...

I'm soposed to go up to New Hampshire with Joyia Next weekend. That might help a bit. I just feel so stressed, I want to get lost somewhere, or in someone. Why is it so hard for me to reach out to real people when I'm like this? Actually, I think I know the awnser to that, I'm afraid that if I reach out, really, truely do, that I'll find myself alone. Does that make sence? I'm not sure how else to say it...

Oh, on a unrelated note, my annoyance with Valley Goth's very existance has been renewed. CSA Avigen and I went to dinner the other night, and she joined us. She always talks about how everyone wants her, it's really annoying, Like we'll be talking about something that doesn't intrest her, so she waits for something that she can somehow relate to some guy hitting on her, and how she "can't stand it". I'm sorry, it must be so hard being you. ::sigh::