I really wanted to sleep in this morning. My brain tried to convince me that it was Saturday, and that I could sleep in fine. It then proceeded to yell at me for setting my alarm in the first place. We argued for a while. Me trying to say that I'm so used to setting the stupid thing that it's become habit, and that I'll try to be more aware of what day it is when I go to sleep, and my brain berating me for doing something so dumb. Then I realized that it was actually Tuesday, and that I had had every right to set the alarm, and that my brain was lying to me. I don't know which is more disturbing: The fact that I was having a discussion with my brain as a separate identity, or that I was lying to myself...

Last night I dreamt about Avigen, and That girl he met at Manray (who I will call Clubgirl until I know more about her). I was in a mall that way laid out like my grandparents old house. I was in the basement walking around, and they were talking over in a corner near the stairs, which I was heading up. I stopped to say Hi, and introduce myself, she jumped up and hugged me, she actually had a very friendly hug and held on a little longer than a hello hug. Avigen seamed happy, and smiled as I finished walking upstairs. I walked out into the mall and saw Black Widow walking in front of me with a lot of bags. I passed her, and got the distinct impression that she was glaring at the back of my head while I was walking away. I have a couple of Ideas of what this could mean. Some good, some less than good. I should tell Avigen about it I think.

I've been thinking about the house a lot today. I'm thinking about how I want to decorate it, which I think is worrying Julius a bit. He said today that we should worry about figuring out how to pay the rent before we start worrying about how to decorate things. I think he thinks I want to do this right away. I don't, I know that we have to see what we have for a budget before we start buying stuff to decorate with, I'm just thinking about what to do when we reach that point. Nothing wrong with that is there? It's a girl thing, I think, to want to have things like that planed. By the time we are ready to do the decoration thing, I'll have it all planned in my head, and we'll be able to get it done, and have a nice looking house.

They�re having a mass for my grandparents on the 21st, in Fall River. I don�t want to go. I go to their grave, I visit them, and I don�t think they would hold it against me if I didn�t sit through a mass just to hear that them say that it is in memory of them before they go into it. Call me crazy.