So It's been awhile, hasn't it? I still feel wierd doing big updates on someone elses computer. I need to get my own. I want a laptop, but I can't afford that just yet. So you'll all have to make do with horribly spelled, spaced out entries... Sorry.

I can't seam to shake this feeling of being missplaced. I should be

somewhere else, but I don't know where. I don't think it's where I'm living, or my position with my friends. I just think I need time alone to purify myself... does that make sence? By nature I like to have people around me, I'm not usually much for being alone, Time enough for that when you're asleep or dead you know? I just kinda feel that I've been around other people so much that I've kind of lost sight of my self in the jumble. I feel like a car under a big leafy tree in the autum. I'm covered it really pretty leaves, and it looks neat when you're sitting in the drivers seat looking at the patchwork window, but if you start the car and try to drive, you have no idea where you're going. So you clean your windshield off. The other advantage is that new leaves have a chance to show themselves. Same tree, new pattern, and no rotted leaf sludge on my window, everyone's happy.

Besides being in need of a car cleaning, I'm pretty happy. Joyia, Avigen and I are approaching our 1 year anniversary this month. Avigen and I will have been dating for 2 years in feburary. Our little triangle has kind of expanded. Avigen has started dating Ghost, and we're all in an comfortable state of chaos (I'm not being sarcastic about that either) For Ghost, I think it's a lot to take in. She getting used to the whole sharing thing, but is taking it quite well, and she and I are getting along very well. It's new though. She's straight, so we're not dating, but I think we're on a slightly different level than friendship, like I feel comfortable with her in a way that's different than the comfort I feel with Avigne and Joyia, but also different than the comfort I feel with Julius, Spider Monkey, Piskie, or Sombrengel. We had said durring one of our (many) deep conversations that we needed to find a name for that. I'm thinking the best term for it may end up being stolen from Robert Jordan, I think I have a new understanding of the term Near-sister. She hasn't read the Wheel of Time books though. It's also not so pressing an issue that we need to even put a name to it.