I need a hug. I need to lay down in someone's lap and cry, and sob until I pass out, and just be held. I have no one to do that with. I don't know if I want to talk about what's stressing me, it's not really anything that I haven't already said. Crying myself to sleep isn't really cutting it. It doesn't do anything except eventually get me into unconsiousness, when I wake up I'm still all stressed, and I'm just turning into a big bundle of bitch. I want to ball up all my stress energy and push it out of me, but I'm afraid the windows will break and the house will catch on fire. I know the steps to take to get rid of some of the stress, the whole bar tender school job thing. but I don't know about the rest of it.

I have an ice pick in my forehead. I don't know if it's the ones I used to get, or if this one is stress induced, I do know that Avigen is really good at getting rid of them. For all the use that is to me now.

I want to be near water. I want to sit right where the water meets the sand and ground and feel the nice cool breeze and look at the moon reflecting on the surface. I always felt better when I could do that at my parents house. It helped. Now I have to walk 4 miles up to Lake Rico, which I can't do right now because it's 11pm and I'd probably get picked up by a cop or something.

I really need a hug.

edit: I tried to go outside to blow off extra energy, but the ghose in the basement was watching me, so that didn't work too well, but the asprin I took stoped the pain from the Ice pick away, so now all I have is the pressure, I don't know if that's better or not. It's to hot to function